Some Serious Stress

I've been putting off this post for about a week now because I was debating whether or not I wanted to share/vent.  I'm going to pre-frame this by saying that this is my blog so I'm not going to stress too much about my language, especially when I'm emotional, or over sharing.  (Sorry grandparents)

Alright, so we've been trying (unsuccessfully) to get pregnant for about 6 months now.  My cycles have progressively gotten longer since stopping birth control last Sept.  When I say longer I mean I started at 34 days and have now surpassed my longest cycle of 42 days by fifteen days!  Holy shit!  After some concern at day 50 from my friend Brianna & her sister who's an RN in labor & delivery, I called my doctor's office to schedule an in-office pregnancy test and a blood test.  

Real quick rewind to the beginning of June.  I went in for a pre-conception checkup to make sure I was ovulating and to ease my nerves about my long cycles.  Well, they had me come in for a blood test between days 25 & 30 of my cycle to check hormone (progesterone & estrogen), thyroid levels, etc. The test came back with everything looking great.

Back to the shit storm that's ensued since then.  The in-office pregnancy test came back negative (as suspected) but I had to wait a day to find out what the blood work said.

The blood work came back negative as well but with some bad news: I'm not ovulating every month.  The nurse confirmed my fear of needing to start Clomid to ensure ovulation.  Awesome.  Do you know how shitty it feels to know your body has failed you when a bunch of couples your age are popping up pregnant left & right?  I can't say I'm not happy for them because that's a lie, I'm jealous & happy for them.  I hate feeling like that about such an incredible thing but I can't help myself.  

The fertility specialist at the office I go to is out of town through the end of next week so I couldn't get an appointment until July 27.  So now we wait.  I'm a natural worrier so the nurse's advice about "Not worrying or stressing out" is going to be ignored completely.  By the way, how the hell are you not supposed to worry when you find out you need a drug to help you get pregnant?  Thank goodness Wes is such a calm, supportive man otherwise I'd lose my mind.

Just to add another fun medical issue to this post: I was diagnosed with Lymphocytic Colitis in June so the stress has really wreaked havoc on my system.  You can read about Lymphocytic Colitis here.

Have you (or anyone you know) had to take Clomid or faced other infertility issues?  Any and all encouraging words are welcome but I swear if you tell me "it's going to be okay, just don't stress" I'll choke you.

Until next time...